Im starting to get the feeling that i was the only one in the realtionship….Honestly if i didnt call and text him as much as i DID i would more then likly NEVER hear from him. And the thing that is so fucked up i am having the hardest time keeping myself from trying to reach HIM….he always ignors me at the worst times. I just had a little ordeal with a guy i thought i knew…and im still a little shaken up from that. AND im sick which is for some reason makeing me more emotional then i have ever been. And on top of that mister no need to be named always knows when to step in to make me start crushing on him again…he is the one that messed everything up in the first place…he is making it seem like the can make everything all better when i know he cant. Its just the way he does things to get what he wants. He gives me the attention when justin wont..but i cant fall into that no matter if i decide to “end things” with justin. I feel so alone right now…i hate that feeling. I just want to be with him. is that so fucking worng. Im sorry for the language. im just very very very very very very very very very emotional. Im going crazy sitting while he poves the point that i dont want him to prove. i want to call him and say sorry for everything but then it will just go back to the way it was and i dont want that. I cant go to sleep until like 1am becuase then i will sleep to much which always makes me more sleepy so i forced to sit here and do nothing but think about all this shit….fuck it im going to go lay under the stars and listen to music for a bit………more later…..maybe…..we shall see…..